Chelsea and Millie

  Me? I exist just to piss you off.                                                                                                      Srsly. For instance, y'know that drunken pack of vuvuzela-blowing assholes who seemingly appear out of nowhere to "serenade" you outside your bedroom window every morning at 4 a.m. yet mysteriously vanish back into the aether before the authorities you've called arrive, and who by pulling this shit night after night since lo those many weeks ago have put you on extremely thin ice with the local constabulary, not to mention caused your significant other to seriously question if a future with you is even worth it anymore, to the point of moving out last week and refusing to respond to any attempt on your part to contact them due the worryingly suspiciously-flimsy pretense of "just needing some space for awhile"?                                                                                                                                            Totes my doing.